My heart has been broken into a million tiny little pieces. I don’t feel like I will ever be able to pick those pieces back up again. This has been the most difficult past couple of weeks as we said goodbye to our beautiful Gromit on Saturday, January 16th. From January 1st to January 6th, Gromit had seen his vet and an Internal Medicine Dr multiple times. Everyone trying to figure out what what was going on…then on Wednesday, January 6th I received the phone call. Gromit has lung cancer. Gromit has lung cancer….how can that be? Why? How long? Hundreds of questions flooded my thoughts as tears flooded my eyes. That same evening I received a call from his vet, Dr. Cucaro. She was so amazing and was so so sorry to hear the news. She had just received all of the information from his Internal Medicine Dr. We were both devastated. Because of Gromit’s heart condition, we could not do any extensive surgery. Even a short surgery was taking a huge risk. She talked to me about different things to look for.
I had to fly out that Friday for Atlanta to attend the ImagingUSA 2016 conference and to receive both my Master of Photography Degree and my Gold Medal Award. I was at a complete loss.What do I do? I so badly need to cancel my trip and yet I couldn’t. I had worked 5 years to receive this degree. Everything was paid for…what do I do? Dr. Cucaro told me I had to go. Tim told me I had to go. All of my friends told me I had to go, but I did not want to! I did not want to leave Gromit’s side. I flew out Friday morning, early. Tim would be flying out Monday morning and the both of us would be flying back on Wednesday. Tim was home with Gromit for a couple of days and he was eating great. Tim took pictures of him every day and sent them to me. Gromit would only be at home with his Gromit sitter for 3 days (2 nights). We could do this. It was the longest 6 days of my life. The awards were overridden by worry and stress. Gromit wasn’t eating much. Oh please little buddy!!!!
We made it home Wednesday night and I knew he wasn’t well the minute I walked in the door as he barely got up to greet me. His wiggle was slight compare to usual, his breathing shallow and short. My life was turning upside down…my baby. I slept on the couch for the next 3 nights listening to him, trying to make sure he was ok. Not wanting to believe that he was dying…not wanting to accept that he was sick.
I got him to eat pretty well Thursday and most of Friday but by Saturday morning, he didn’t want anything. Not his hotdogs with his pills, no raw food, no cottage cheese, no turkey and egg. Tim swam Saturday morning and by the time he made it home, Gromit had been panting short shallow breaths for the past 3 hours. I called Dr. Cucaro – they made time for us at 2:30…We said goodbye. My heart has been shattered into a million tiny pieces. How will I ever, ever be able to pick up all of those pieces?
Gromit passed quickly and peacefully. I miss him so so much!
Everyday, I hear him and see him but I can’t touch him and that hurts so so very much.
Everyday, I miss him, his look, his face, his nudge, his beautiful goofiness.
Everyday, I know he is running pain free.